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"None of those who have Hell before their eyes will fall into Hell. No one of those who despise Hell will escape Hell.... Nothing is so profitable as to converse concerning Hell. It renders our souls purer than any silver."  

~St. John Chrysostom~

BOOK

Masturbation

Dear Aaron,

           Well I must admit I didn’t think of that as a solution, but I understand why you would. The common joke is that 98% of guys admit to masturbating, and the other 2% are lying. I don’t know if that is true, but I certainly suspect that it is. As a result, many in this day and age, including many pastors, are seeking to justify masturbation as an alternative to pre-marital sex.

Your friends are certainly correct when they tell you that there are no specific scriptures against masturbating, but Jesus did say that if you lust in your heart, you are just as guilty as if you had already committed the act. The reason for this is that since your character is known outwardly by your actions, and inwardly by your thoughts and desires, it is just as tainted, whether you do something openly or desire it secretly. God, of course, knows the heart, and it is the heart he is seeking to change. Although some may claim that they can masturbate without lusting, it is always lust that directs them to do it. Even if some of your friends insist otherwise, it is obviously so in your case.

Another, and maybe more important point, is that of self-control. You would not be exercising any more self-control if you masturbated, than if you were to have sex with your girlfriend. You may have a point that there would be less physical, and maybe even spiritual consequences, but there would be consequences nonetheless. One such consequence is that you would become less Christ like and more animal like. Remember, we were created to become like Christ, and our animal like condition is a result of the fall. Animals have sex/masturbate whenever they get the urge. We as humans can exercise self-control, which raises us above the animals, and closer to Christ. Salvation is the process of becoming Christ like, and we can judge our actions by whether or not they lead us in that direction.

Another physical, but still important reason, is that masturbation causes us to focus on ourselves during the sexual act. Most don’t make the connection, but in my view, this is one of the reasons why many women do not enjoy sex even after they are married. After ten to twenty years of masturbating, most guys have trained themselves to think first and foremost about their own satisfaction while having sex. Many never make the transition to satisfying their wives, and therefore, many women are left sexually unfulfilled.

Look, Aaron, I know that it’s difficult, and you are right, I wasn’t a Christian in college, and I certainly did not exercise much in the way of self-control. I have seen both sides though, and can tell you from experience, that the paths you are contemplating lead only to corruption and heartache. Of course, you are right, if you choose the wrong path, you can repent and God will forgive you, but you will carry those scars with you for the rest of your life. Take it from someone who knows—it’s not worth it. Choose wisely. You and those in your future will be glad that you did.

Still concerned,

Uncle Greg