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"None of those who have Hell before their eyes will fall into Hell. No one of those who despise Hell will escape Hell.... Nothing is so profitable as to converse concerning Hell. It renders our souls purer than any silver."  

~St. John Chrysostom~

BOOK

Male/Female roles 

Dear Aaron,

             You ask a very good but controversial question. One that is certain to get you into trouble. As you are sure to find out, even the mention of differing roles for men and women is enough to give most feminists fits. The reason for this is that it doesn’t fit into their view of equality between the sexes. As far as I understand the Christian tradition, these roles only apply in the home and in the Church, but even that is too much for most feminists. 

If you remember the Biblical account of creation, God first made man, and then from man, fashioned the woman to be a helpmate for him. You’ll notice I said helpmate not slave. They were to walk side by side in the garden, taking care of, and ruling over, the creation. Unfortunately the fall changed everything. Once sin entered the world and there was no longer harmony between Adam and Eve, God had to designate someone to lead. Since Adam was created first, with Eve as his helper, he was given that authority. Once again this was not as a master ruling over his slave, but as a king with his queen.

The problem with giving both partners equal authority in a fallen world is that you will always have a power struggle. If no one is designated to lead, there will always be competition to see who will make the next decision, as well as scorekeeping as to who made the last. Now if both partners are Christian, which would be the ideal, they will already have a basic agreement on many issues, and hopefully a willingness to compromise on many others. Of course, as we are all very much aware, there will inevitably be those times when no compromise can be reached, and that is when the man has been designated to make the final decision. Hopefully, he fully understands and appreciates his wife’s position, and through much prayer and contemplation he makes a wise choice.

This is the ideal, and I will freely admit that none of us do it perfectly, but it is surely better than the feminist model, which produces only argument and strife. The evidence for this can be found in how the divorce rate has skyrocketed since the 1970s when feminism first began to take hold in America. It may not be the only reason for this increase, but in my opinion, it is certainly a major factor.

Now as far as the exact roles that the husband and wife should play, I think this needs to be worked out between them, depending upon the strengths and weaknesses of each. There is an exception though, and that is, if at all possible the man should work to supply for his family, and the woman should be the primary nurturer of the children. This does not mean that the wife cannot work, or that the father should not nurture. As long as the primary roles are understood and followed as much as possible, some crossing over is natural and good. I know this gives feminists fits and may get you slapped if you say it, but I believe that this is not only consistent with traditional Christianity, but is also consistent with who we are as men and women.

As men, we get much of our self worth and identity from our work. We were created to provide for and to protect our families, and if you take that away, you take away a good part of what it is to be a man. As for women, they begin bonding with their baby even while it is in the womb, which is obviously something men cannot do. After nine months of bonding she gives birth, and then through her breasts continues to give life to her baby, making that bond even stronger. Because of this, I believe that God has given women a more highly developed nurturing instinct than He has men. Consequently, I believe it hurts a woman more than it does a man to be separated from her children.

The feminist response to all of this is to show exceptions to the rule, but they will be just that, exceptions, not the rule. When we speak of human nature, especially in our fallen state, there will always be exceptions. We just shouldn’t pretend that they are the norm and make public policy from them.

As far as the Church goes, God has always chosen to identify Himself to us as a male.  He also chose men to be priests under the old covenant. When the Trinity was revealed, we were told that God had an only begotten son, Who when He became incarnate, did so as a man. He then chose twelve men to be his disciples. When they set up the Church they chose male bishops, priests, and deacons.

The bishop, or at his behest the priest, represents Christ to the Church, which is called his bride. If you have a woman as bishop or priest, you are not only representing Christ as a female, but you are then marrying her to her bride the Church, thereby creating a female deity, and a lesbian relationship! Assuming that theological ideas have consequences, is it any wonder that many of the denominations that allow female pastors also seek to accept homosexuality and make God gender neutral, or even worse, a goddess? In my opinion, it is goddess worship that is the ultimate goal for most of the radical feminists.

I believe another reason why God has chosen to reveal Himself as a male, is that since he made man the authority in marriage, and then reveals himself to be in a marriage relationship with his Church, if he revealed Himself as a female, we wouldn’t view him as the authority figure. If he revealed Himself as gender neutral we wouldn’t see him as a personal God.

            My generation may be a lost cause, but maybe yours will understand that differing roles do not necessarily mean inequality. They are meant to complement one another so the two may become one. Men and women were never meant to fight and compete with each other, but to be as one throughout eternity. What we as Americans have to decide is whether modern day feminism, or Christianity, is more likely to get us to that goal. It is up to us to make the case for Christianity as well as we can, and then let people decide for themselves.

Your loving uncle,

Greg